The Moving Finger Writes

October 19, 2017

The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ, Moves on; nor all thy Piety nor Wit, Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line, Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.   Omar Khyyam

 

I had been in a drought of unemployment or underemployment for well over a decade, being blacklisted in my career that gave me purpose to help others have their voices heard – standing on the right-side of ethics in government is often frowned upon, losing my Father after a decade of dementia, my kids leaving the nest, and poor relationship choices; the desert seemed endless, but that changed.  In the last twenty-two months, the first raindrops fell and the release of anger, fear, sadness, and loss began to fall, but I kept the super-sized umbrella up, a tent-sized raincoat on and my little feet in over-sized galoshes, I was not willing or ready to leave the security of my lacking.  

 

When the Autumn Leaves showed up this year, I knew it was time; time to dance in the rain, and follow my heart to abundance.  An abundance found within a trusting open-heart could lead to a new romance, new writing ideas for my blogs, completing the four books dangling out there, taking a new approach to my research for my book and documentary project about the United States Marine Corps, and a full assault on beefing up that financial foundation. 

 

So as I stood at my own fork-in-the-road I knew that I no longer wanted to live 55 in the slow lane, or wait until life was all neat and tidy, or on others’ indecision as they stood at their own fork-in-the-road…the leaves were transforming, falling, and rolling off to new places.  My heart and mind were ready to roll down the road with them.  I first had to determine which lane of abundance I wanted to walk down first…that was easy, WRITING.  To truly succeed at writing, the first drawbridge I had to lower would be to my heart.

 

The road to abundance can often been found internally through self-motivation based on external inspiration.  Inspiration can be found in walking in nature, books, poetry, music, or movies of courageous real-life stories.  Why not take a new approach to life?  I had long relied on my analytical skills and others’ idea of how my goals should be played out.  Neither had played out well in growing my spiritual life or bank account.  And as long as I was going all in for change, why not embrace a change in my financial life?  Poverty thinking or poverty itself, is not or should not be a state of being.  Money is all too often equated to evil or elitism, both of which are lessons taught to too many children.  Those children grow-up to be adults living a never-ending story of why not me?

Here are a few of the writings that helped me stop asking, “Why not me?” and instead, “It’s time to roll!”: 

 

1)  1 Kings 18:41 and the wisdom behind them:

 

"And Elijah said to Ahab, “Go up, eat and drink, for there is the sound of abundance of rain."

 

“When the rain begins to fall, droughts end.  Those times of lack, dryness, and famine end.  Fall on your knees.  Cry out from the depths of your heart.  Turn everything over to Me.  Let your soul unwind itself into Me.  Let the rain saturate the dry ground of your thirsty soul.  Rain is coming—lots of rain—oceans and oceans of rain.  It is ready to land on you, refresh you, and fill you.  It will resurrect the dry, forgotten seeds you once planted and have forgotten about.  Your heart will soften, and your spirit will open up like a flower to the sun.  Dead fields will bring forth bumper crops.  Cry out, “The drought is over!”  Shout it!  Sing it!  It is all true.  Tragedies will turn around to blessings, failures to successes, heartbreak to healing, sadness to joy, and lack to abundance.  Enrichment is your food, encouragement your nectar...  Stay where the rain is always falling.  Live where the drought cannot come.  The time of reaping has arrived for you.  Gathering will keep you busy now—seeing your prayers answered, hearing the sound of spring, gathering in the crops, and feeding the starving souls at your door.  I never lack and neither will you.  Receive the rain.  Catch it in barrels and give it away to those whose thirst has never been quenched.”    Ivan Tait

 

2)  The result, after letting the creative thoughts flow gently down the stream, is my decision to write pieces based on the possibilities and opportunities presented by an Open Door.  The series is about exploring the what, when, where, who, why, and how of turning the concept of the word ‘possible’ into opportunity.  Keeping an open mind and creating a friendly environment within your heart and left brain, being open to all the possibilities your journey will bring, and moving beyond the struggle your ego readily throws in your path when it’s slapping you upside the head for not thinking in a logical or practical societal mode!

 

For the purpose of this series, I’ll be using the definitions of possibility and opportunity stated on the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary:

 

Pos·si·bil·i·ty - Function: noun; Date: 14th century

1: the condition or fact of being possible; potential; 2 archaic: one's utmost power, capacity, or ability * I really like this one!

Op·por·tu·ni·ty - Function: noun; Date: 14th century 1 : a favorable juncture of 2 : a good chance for advancement or progress

 

It dawned on me that both words are nouns; meaning they need to be followed by a verb, an action verb to be a complete sentence or statement!  That was all I needed to inspire the series and to realize my ego had been getting in the way of my possibilities, thereby, blocking the open doors leading to wonderful opportunities.  It also got me thinking what are possibilities and opportunities? When are they presented to you and how?  Why do they exist and where do I use them? And who decides which are worth going on an unknown uncharted journey and which are not?

 

3)  Who was easy…I, the individual, decide whether to take the path less traveled.  I realized that at age twelve, when I first read Robert Frost’s poem, “The Road Not Taken,”

 

The Road Not Taken

 

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth; 

Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same, 

And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black.  Oh, I kept the first for another day!  Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I- I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.

 

The poem has been my philosophical rock since that time, but I had gotten in its way.  Knowing that each decision was ultimately mine and mine to own (and here’s where it gets tricky for parents….wanting the best for our children and barring some form of mind control…we don’t have control over their decisions…our children control their own minds…the most we can do is guide them and pray for the best …even when we are going YIKES!); I have often failed to make that first step down the path of the possible, due to fear or doubt, and at times both; I have done this even while encouraging my children to take a chance on a dream, and knowing that it is not the goal we live for, but the journey that gives us meaning…damn you logic!

***

After reading through the above wisdom, definitions, and poem, it hit me, the falling leaves were telling me to let it go – fear, doubt, a crushing heartbreak, and the undeserving bonds of guilt and shame.  Deep within my core I saw that the fallen leaves laid bare my soul yearning to live life and not just survive it.  So on the first day of Fall I sat down under a tree whose leaves were blowing in a gentle wind, hummingbirds and bees flitting about, and lizards running up and down its trunk and had a long ‘Come to Jesus’ discussion with myself.  I reminded me of what I had always told my son and daughter, Douglas and Tyler, “God gave you gifts to benefit yourself and others; now get off your butt and use them,” so Cindy, here’s where I distinctly hear my Father’s booming voice, “Stop crying over spilled milk, pull up your boots, wade through the shit, and get moving!””

 

That’s how the idea for this series started.  I’m not a licensed counselor, psychologist or psychiatrist; I’m just me, so what I write or suggest as a solution will only be directed at me.  I hope though that it will inspire all to explore and create their own solutions for their individual journeys.

 

 

More to come…

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